Suddenly I've realized that I've been doing something entirely wrong my entire life.
I'm a bit compulsive. I do things without thinking and try to make them work although they don't. Silly me. But with a bit of a push from an inspirational figure and fellow artist of words, I have realized that I'm being completely ridiculous.
The fact is, every time I have an idea, I want to write it down and make a novel and create something out of it, no matter how vague or ridiculous or foundationless the idea is. I jump on this one idea, and, even though it may not be the best idea, I try to make it work.
Basically, I tend to pursue dead ends.
The saddest part is, I get going and within a fortnight I have seventy pages of completely directionless material with practically no substance. Then I have somebody read it, and they go, "What the heck were you thinking? This is crap!" And I go, "Ouch." But in a sudden epiphany I've realized that they're right. Where was I going with that idea? I had no plans, no themes, no idea how to make it climax and not a clue of just about anything else.
I'm an idiot.
What fool travels down every fork in the road? Even a fool should know that exploring every path will only distract and exhaust him. Everybody has to have a direction, and if you try to go everywhere, you'll never find your groove.
What a concept.
After meditating on this for a few moments, I decided that I seriously need to step back, look at what I'm doing, and ask myself: is this the best idea? Or is there a path that is more suited to me? Which may sound lazy and selfish, but honestly, guys? Life is about overcoming, about creating yourself, about climbing over the obstacles in our way and becoming our best selves. But it is not about pounding your head against a brick wall. The only thing you get from that is blood in your eyes. Take the path that is suited for you. (Not that anybody I know is suited for pounding their heads on brick walls.)
Not lazy, just smart.
Ahem. Hmmm... uh, I'm not sorry, but at the same time, I'm really sorry. I guess it's like that story of the currant bush and the gardener (http://www.lds.org/liahona/2002/03/the-currant-bush?lang=eng&query=currant+bush). Sometimes life is rough.
ReplyDeleteBut, the roots and stumps are still good. You still have great ideas. And they'll grow into exactly what they need to be. I admire you for being willing to channel yourself - it takes a lot of maturity.
And do you even know how well you write? Just take a look at this very blog post! Just look, I tell you. Not even word-smithed or planned ahead, and I don't think you planned those one-word paragraphs that tell the story all by themselves. (Pause for dramatic effect.) Just sayin' girl, you've got it.