The End is Near

Of school, that is.


I ask you: what has the world come to when a child would rather enter the Hunger Games than go back to school? It's ridiculous, isn't it? Because I've got to admit, strangely, I agree. School is painful, boring, stupid, useless, and downright irritating. I'd rather be thrust into an arena where I could kill or be killed any given moment.


Actually, I have a whole list of things I'd rather do than school.

1. Enter Hunger Games
2. Travel the universe with the Doctor
3. Become an actor
4. Get lost in a forest somewhere
5. Stay at home with my siblings (which is almost as painful as school)
6. Get kidnapped

Just saying.

7. Be locked in a rubber room
8. Get arrested
9. Swim the English Channel
10. Be taken hostage by insane Arabs
11. Be locked in Incarceron
12. Get sucked into some magical world like Narnia
13. Go to Hogwarts
14. Battle Voldemort
15. Visit Middle Earth
16. Fight in the Last Time War on Gallifrey
17. Go to Camp Half-Blood
18. Travel to Pandora and meet the Na'vi
19. Be in the Iditerod
20. Invent a way to play Quidditch for real
21. Watch The Sound of Music three hundred times in a row
22. Have a movie marathon of all my least favorite movies
23. Be locked in a tower for eighteen years
24. Undergo Chinese water torture
25. Get locked in Fablehaven

Sadly, most of those have zero chance of happening. So here I am. Otherwise I'd be long gone.

Although, you know, it's funny... if someone said to me, "Never watch another Doctor Who, and you never have to go to school again," I'd probably keep going to school, just so I could keep watching Doctor Who.

I'll step up to the brink of death but I won't give up my favorite T.V. show.

Odd. Not sure what that says about me.

At any rate, I've got just a few more weeks of boredom to plow through before I get to sit around for the entire summer. I'm not sure if I'll survive. Everything gets so monotonous around this time of year. It's all review and CORE Testing and this and that and more review and ick and yuck and hot and tiring and stuff.

Life is so boring :P Something exciting needs to happen to me.

Dead Ends and Fools

Suddenly I've realized that I've been doing something entirely wrong my entire life.

I'm a bit compulsive. I do things without thinking and try to make them work although they don't. Silly me. But with a bit of a push from an inspirational figure and fellow artist of words, I have realized that I'm being completely ridiculous.

The fact is, every time I have an idea, I want to write it down and make a novel and create something out of it, no matter how vague or ridiculous or foundationless the idea is. I jump on this one idea, and, even though it may not be the best idea, I try to make it work.

Basically, I tend to pursue dead ends.

The saddest part is, I get going and within a fortnight I have seventy pages of completely directionless material with practically no substance. Then I have somebody read it, and they go, "What the heck were you thinking? This is crap!" And I go, "Ouch." But in a sudden epiphany I've realized that they're right. Where was I going with that idea? I had no plans, no themes, no idea how to make it climax and not a clue of just about anything else.

I'm an idiot.

What fool travels down every fork in the road? Even a fool should know that exploring every path will only distract and exhaust him. Everybody has to have a direction, and if you try to go everywhere, you'll never find your groove.

What a concept.

After meditating on this for a few moments, I decided that I seriously need to step back, look at what I'm doing, and ask myself: is this the best idea? Or is there a path that is more suited to me? Which may sound lazy and selfish, but honestly, guys? Life is about overcoming, about creating yourself, about climbing over the obstacles in our way and becoming our best selves. But it is not about pounding your head against a brick wall. The only thing you get from that is blood in your eyes. Take the path that is suited for you. (Not that anybody I know is suited for pounding their heads on brick walls.)

Not lazy, just smart.

A Thought

What to do while my photos upload?

The bar seems to be moving particularly slow this evening as I simply attempt to get a few things uploaded before I go off to bed. What to do instead of staring at it as it creeps across the screen? Inchworms are more fascinating to watch. I'd rather be doing art, of course, but one must do what is important first...

I watched a boy walk across the commons in school today. He's a peculiar soul, a bit of a loner; he's just a little more introverted than some... and so misunderstood. They say to never judge a book by it's cover and slowly I am discovering just how true that is. Truly, in most regular societies, Goths are seen as weird people, people to avoid - some would go so far as to call them freaks. Such a warped cultural lense. Sure, there are some strange people out there... those Satanic worshipers, et cetera. But just because one is that way doesn't mean they all are.

Just different. That's all. Not necessarily disturbed or freakish.

People have got to learn to be more open. Just because this boy doesn't talk much and always wears black doesn't make him a freak. He's just different, and he wants to show it. When I first saw him, I too was sucked into that more common veiw of things. But as time went on, I looked at him less as an object of fascination and more as a person. And I learned things.

He is truly quite brilliant. He enjoys art. He writes. He's more refined and polite than most of the teenagers I know. He's quiet, but he does socialize. And while he is Goth, he is not a dark person.

Actually, he's quite a bit like me. Only he's a guy.

We all make judgements upon first seeing people. Just remember that things are never as they seem and most of life is surreal anyway, full of polite small talk and gossip. Remember to rise above initial judgements and always be willing to change your perception of a person. Clothes do not make a person different, quietness does not make them antisocial, artistic abilities do not make them weird, and first impressions are never right.

Hello Again :)

This ought to be short since it's getting a little late over here. Not much to say tonight.

Two of my new favorite songs: Yacht Club, by Owl City; and Slice, by Five for Fighting. Slice is, I think, a reply to a song called American Pie, which was written about this rock-n-roll band, three of which died in a plane crash. It's a catchy song but the meaning is kind of complicated and weird so I don't think about it overly much.

At any rate. As usual, I have like, four novels going, two of which are in the editing process and the others still being drafted. One I've just barely started, because I was bored in English. (Ironic, isn't it?) It's a little strange and I haven't the faintest idea where it's going, but that's cool; I write by the seat of my pants. The storyline is sort of evolving as I set up the main character and the setting. (Which is taking an astoundingly long time, but like I said, I write by the seat of my pants. The stories write themselves and I'm just sort of pulled along for the ride, you know?)

It's set after World War III, in a highly technologically advanced time. The main, a fifteen-year-old (of course), has turned into a juvenile delinquent after having her house explode and both her parents die. I'm not far in right now; she's just being taken to a detention center in the mountains of Utah. And I suppose we'll see where it goes from there, right?

I need to go to sleep now, so I'm going to end this extremely short post. I will be seeing you all... later. :D

Happy Freaking New Years

*fireworks*

So, I'm back. Actually, it hasn't been that long, but that's just fine. I am bored, therefore I write.

And that is that.

At any rate, it's been pretty fun these last few days. Christmas, of course, was awesome, despite the hassle of switching between houses. We opened presents at four in the afternoon, which struck me as odd, but that's okay; it was fun anyway. I got exactly what I wanted (also the thing I least expected to get): Owl City's All Things Bright and Beautiful. It's their newest album and it has some of my favorite songs on it, including Kamikaze, Plant Life, and Alligator Sky. I was literally jumping up and down when I recieved that gift... thank you, mom!! :)

New Years was just as awesome as expected. The dance was soooooo fun! One of my friends did my makeup (I never wear makeup except to dances). It turned out astounding. The eyeshadow was purple, to match my fancy new shirt, and she made it pretty dark. Then she put just a little under my eyes and smudged out the corner. There was eyeliner, of course, but the thing that really finished off the magnificent makeup job was the mascara.

Let me get something straight - mascara hates me, my eyes hate mascara. But I love it. So, I deal with the torture of something big, black, and dangerous coming towards my eyes. And voila! Eyelashes 3/4 of an inch long, eyes main attraction of face (which is nice because my eyes are my favorite feature).

Anyway. Now that I've explained that to you in extreme detail, I'll talk your ear off about the dance (just kidding - I've really got to go to bed, so this'll be short-ish).

I wore heels. Idiotic, right? The only upside was that when I hugged a certain boy, I was actually tall enough to hug him properly.

By the way, the hug totally made my night. That and the dance with my crush :) (is that an archaic term? Or do people still use that? Idk, but it's the only term I've got for it right now, so therefore, crush). It was really amazing. I was so scared to death... boys are scary! But finally, near the end of the dance, I was over close to where he was during a girls' choice. He had his fancy little nano-watch lit up and he was waving it around in the air, so I stood there for a moment, gathering my courage, then... I actually walked up and asked him! I know. I was astounded too.

The only things I remember about that dance are these: I commented on his fancy watch, got a sparkle off his face (becuase for some strange reason it bugs me when people have sparkles on their faces), talked about how much fun dances are, and decided that even with his hair gone, he is still the most handsome (dashing, stunning, adorable, wonderful, hilarious...) boy in school. (Of course, he wasn't in on that decision. That would have been weird.)

Okay. Straight face. No, I'm not blushing! What would give you that idea? :D

Awkward. I just totally went off about that and it's a public blog. Good thing he'll never read it. And if he does... well, sucks to be me, right? Unless he likes me back (which I doubt) which would be nice.

Anyway, after all those hours, six glasses of water, three lime drinks, one nacho, lots of chalk dust, and three dances later, there was a huge countdown and then - KAPOW! 2012.

I've got to say - the best part of New Years is the dances.

Well... bring on 2012!

And... oh my gosh, I turn 16 this year!! *squeaks*

Short dialogue:

Friend: Get a permit, hobo!
Thirty-second pause.
Me: Hobo?!

Feliz Navidad - Joyeux Noel

Merry Christmas people :)

Random Jabber

Hey. So I'm back and going completely insane. But that's more or less normal for me, isn't it? I mean, aren't I always slightly off the wall? A little out there? A little crazy?

There are sparkles on my keyboard.

Christmas is coming. I suppose I ought to be excited. I mean, it's Christmas, for goodness sake! Presents, family, friends, fun, time off school. Excitement plastered everywhere and people going comepletely mad as they attempt to prepare for the season. Lights go up, balloons go up in yards, people pull out their winter coats...

Or they would, if it would snow.

32 degrees outside, all day long, and no snow in Heber City. We need a massive storm to blow in - I want two feet of powder on my porch when I wake up on Christmas Day. If you're the religious sort, please pray for Heber to get snow. I'll be eternally grateful.

I've come up with an entire line of cartoon characters. It's basically a gang of individuals who rang from 13 to 18 years old, from Gothic to hippie, spoiled to abused, and rich to broke. It's so much fun! I mean, in Graphics all we have to do is come up with a picture to put into the computer, but to me, every face has a story behind it, whether the face be real or imaginary. Of course I had to write up character discriptions for all ten of my perfect little drawings.

Great SCOTT, that Miss Dorthey...

By the way, I'm in a play. As part of the crew. Not the cast... heavens, no, I couldn't act to save my life, but I can sit off to the side of the stage and put up subtitles for when the Chinese people speak. That's not hard for me.

Yet despite all that, I'm going to try out for Fiddler on the Roof. Maybe as the oldest daughter, or the second oldest.

The play I'm in now, at any rate, is called Thoroughly Modern Millie. It's the funniest play on the planet and we have an absolutely astounding actor for Mr. Trevor Graydon. The guy who does it is actually moving to Hollywood to become an actor, and I think he'll make it. He is so good at acting. He's got more talent than anybody I know.

If he doesn't make it I will go find him someday and put him in a movie... I don't care how old he'll be, I will find a part for the guy and I will make him famous. He deserves more than a job being a bartender.

Have you heard that if somebody is thinking about you as you fall asleep, you dream about them? It may be only superstition, but if it were true... well, let's say that I have had dreams about some peculiar characters. Including but not limited to a Goth kid in my biology class.

It was odd.

I think, someday, when I'm an adult, I'll find a company who will publish my blog into a book. And I'll keep a copy of it to remember my teenage years... like a journal, almost, but digital. Something to hold on to and laugh at with my kids when they're teens. This blog holds so much random stuff about my life...

Top Seven List of Favorite Actors:
1. Johnny Depp
2. Robert Downey Jr.
3. Taylor Lautner
4. Orlando Bloom
5. Daniel Radcliffe
6. Jackson Rathbone
7. Peter Facinelli

Peculiar number, I know, but I don't have more than seven favorite actors...

And those guys didn't all make the list simply because they were attractive. Some made it because I admire their talent... actually, they all made it for both. They are all highly talented, and they're all really attractive. And don't anybody argue that Johnny Depp, Peter Facinelli, and Robert Downey are old, because I don't care! They're still massively attractive, and I am perfectly entitled to think so.

So I discovered this band called Heyhihello, and now my list of favorite bands is three. The other two are Owl City (of course!) and The Killers.

So this is what I do in my spare time nowadays:

Go ahead. Say, "Hello, gorgeous."

OMGOSH guitar.

I really love this one. The typography is nice.



One of my favs. Formerly I've kept all my words equally faded out, but I thought the different
opacities suited they message they convey.

These are all done entirely with Picnik, except for the one with the guitar - through much stress, irritation, and improvisation I managed to Photoshop that thing in there. Then I Picniked it :)

So I really love art. Any form. I love to write (stories and poetry), I love to draw, paint, sew, cut, paste, splatter, make music, scan, edit, trace, copy, take pictures, create cartoons, and yes, I think if I tried it, I would love acting. Because, quite simply, art is a way to express yourself, and I love to express myself in abstract ways that often only I can understand. I love to be able to throw elements together and create something astounding, something pleasing to the eye, something my art teacher would buy and hang in her house. It thrills me to finish a project, and it enthralls me when I begin a new one. I love to sit for hours after school and cut tiny objects out of paper, then glue them down again... I love to create art on the computer... I love it when people call me an art nerd because I'm proud of it. I love it when my older brother compliments me and says he couldn'tve done better himself. I love the freedom of art, the lack of guidlines, the ability to do whatever you want, however you want, whenever you want, and be admired for it. I love that.

Art is the wings I've always wanted, the feathers I've never had.